


my heart talks about nothing but you.

by spencers-renaissance (tomlinsoul)



Series: the way you look tonight [1]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Discussions of Spencer Reid's Childhood Trauma, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Minor Angst, Protective Derek Morgan, Relationship Discussions, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Vulnerable Spencer Reid, they're so soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:29:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29133339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomlinsoul/pseuds/spencers-renaissance
Summary: Years later, Derek won’t remember what he said in response to that, just that he managed to keep up a conversation the whole way to the park as he ran his fingers over the velvet box in his coat pocket, and Spencer never suspected a thing.or; Derek finds Spencer staring longingly at dancing newlyweds and once he gets to the bottom of why he's tasked with making a proposal to a man who knows it's coming special somehow. (He pulls it off.)
Relationships: Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid
Series: the way you look tonight [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2138622
Comments: 10
Kudos: 79





	my heart talks about nothing but you.

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [In your gentle fire](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29049762) by [vogelia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogelia/pseuds/vogelia). 



> This was inspired by a scene at the start of vogelia's In Your Gentle Fire, in which Sherlock stares longingly at a newly married couple on the dance floor. It was so beautiful it snapped me out of my one-shot funk and I knew I had to write a Spencer version, so this was born.
> 
> Enjoy!

Derek watches curiously as Spencer stands, staring at the newlywed couple dancing slowly to the beat of Norah Jones’ The Nearness of You, surrounded by their friends and family looking fondly on. They’d accidentally crashed the wedding when visiting the venue to question the staff about a connection to their current case, but Spencer had forgotten all about the serial killer on the run as soon as he’d laid eyes on the dancing couple. 

He sticks out like a sore thumb, standing frozen in place, a little off to the side from the rest of the guests but not far away enough to be set apart as staff or… visiting FBI agents. Derek knows he just needs to go and tap him on the shoulder and he’ll snap out of it. They’ll head back to the station and continue working the case, never mentioning his distractedness again, but he isn’t really sure that’s what he wants to do. There’s something so beautifully tragic about Spencer’s expression as he watches the slow waltz across the mahogany dance floor that Derek can’t bring himself to interrupt. 

There’s something whirring through his pretty boy’s head, and he can’t quite figure out what it could possibly be. He doesn’t seem particularly enamoured with either the bride or groom — and Derek should certainly hope not, he wouldn’t be overly pleased if his sweet, devoted boyfriend developed a wandering eye — and the dance itself is nothing special, just two people in love swaying in step to a slow song. 

It must be something emotional then, something about the concept of a newlyweds’ first dance, but what sentiment could possibly be strong enough to allow Spencer to forget himself this much, to wander off in the middle of a case and waste precious minutes watching strangers have an intimate moment together? Derek hopes it’s something good, but with the amount of tragedy his boyfriend has a knack for collecting, he isn’t holding out much hope. 

Eventually, he brings himself to touch Spencer’s arm gently, causing him to whirl around and breathe a sigh of relief at the sight of Derek’s face. They head back to the police department and, as he predicted, they don’t talk about it.

★

He can’t quite let it go, though. The next few days are spent with the image of Spencer watching dancing strangers almost forlornly haunting his brain as they finish working the case and fly home to Quantico. Once they’re back in their apartment, shut away from the rest of the world, he can’t help but broach the subject.

Mustering enough self-control to wait a little while longer, he waits until he’s made them a simple dinner of penne alla vodka and they’re sat at the kitchen table enjoying it to bring it up. They’re holding hands on top of the table as they always do — regardless of every one of their friends complaining about how sappy it is — and he gives it a gentle squeeze before clearing his throat and putting down his fork.

“Spencer,” he starts hesitantly, “when we were at that wedding checking out the venue’s staff… What had you so distracted? You were staring at the bride and groom like you were in a trance.”

He watches as Spencer freezes for a millisecond before resuming chewing as nonchalantly as possible. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Okay, so it’s going to be like that, Derek thinks a little cynically, but he tries not to lose hope as he takes a breath in before sighing it out. “Baby, if you don’t want to tell me for whatever reason, I’m not going to force you. But we both know that you do know what I’m talking about and I just want you to feel safe and comfortable enough to share it with me. We’ve been together going on five years now, pretty boy, we don’t keep secrets, not anymore.”

Spencer blinks rapidly as he stares down into his bowl of pasta and Derek rushes to the other side of the table as soon as he sees the tears in his eyes, taking Spencer’s hands in his. “That’s exactly it, Derek,” he says, crying quietly, “we’ve been together five years.”

Derek’s eyebrows knit together in confusion at that, tucking a beautiful chestnut strand of Spencer’s hair behind his ear before running his thumb under his eye, brushing his tears away. “Come on, sweetheart,” he says gently, picking Spencer up off his chair and moving them both to the sofa. Since the very beginning of their relationship, he’s always been able to calm Spencer down by picking him up and putting him in his lap; he’d told Derek once that it made him feel safe. “What’s all this about five years? Are you anxious about our anniversary?”

“No,” Spencer promises indignantly, shaking his head. “No, I— it’s just been making me think.”

“Uh, oh,” Derek teases gently, pressing his fingers into Spencer’s side, and it’s worth it when it makes him flash a brief, teary smile. 

“It’s been making me think about my parents, and how when I was really little I used to watch their wedding VHS on repeat. I’d sit on the living room carpet, face practically touching the TV, and watch my two favourite people promise to spend the rest of their lives together. I remember thinking how lucky I was that my parents were so in love. But then William pulled the rug out from beneath my rose-coloured view of the world and I came crashing back to reality.”

“And the dancing the other day reminded you of that time in your life?”

“Sort of,” Spencer answers awkwardly, clearly nervous to reveal the whole truth. Derek knows to just give him time, but he only has to wait a few moments for him to resume explaining. “I’ve been wondering whether I want to get married myself. When I was eleven and left dealing with my mother’s episodes all by myself, watching her cry for my father as she begged him to come to home, I promised myself that I would never put myself into a position where I could be hurt like that. I vowed never to marry anybody. But as… you know, we’ve been together and our relationship has progressed, I’ve found myself rethinking it all over again.”

Derek doesn’t cut in when the pause comes: he’ll know when Spencer’s finished, but he presses gentle kisses of reassurance to whatever he can reach, kissing his hand, his shoulder, his forearm, his ear. The soft pink blush blooming on Spencer’s neck makes the endeavour feel worthwhile. 

“When I was watching that couple dancing, Derek, I wanted it to be you and me. You’re not the man my father is and I’m not my father’s son, so fearing the outcome of my parents’ marriage is starting to feel more and more irrational. I know we can’t predict the future, but I know that right now I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

As soon as he’s done speaking, he buries his face in Derek’s neck, making himself as small as he possibly can against his bigger body. They’d had a few conversations about marriage over the years, but neither of them had considered it especially important so they’d usually just left it, but there were times that Derek longed to propose to Spencer, to make it official. He couldn’t stop worrying about what would happen if he got hurt — he needs to know Spencer would be treated as his next of kin, that everything he has would be Spencer’s. He’d always sensed, though, that with his boyfriend it was more than just a case of not seeing it as necessary or worth the enormous cost of a wedding, and he hadn’t wanted to prod him where he knew it was probably sore. 

“Dr Spencer Reid,” Derek teases, “are you proposing to me?”

“No, no,” Spencer laughs, withdrawing his face from Derek’s neck, blushing slightly. “You were the one who brought it up!”

“I’m only teasing, baby,” he chuckles, running a hand down the side of Spencer’s arm. “Listen, if you want to get married, we’ll get married, okay? It’s as simple as that. I can’t say I haven’t longed to make you my husband at different times over the years we’ve been together, and the idea of throwing the best wedding anybody’s ever been to very much appeals to me.” He grins up at Spencer’s shy expression. “Do you want to be, you know, proposed to?”

Spencer blushes properly at that, looking a little sheepish as he avoids Derek’s curious eyes. “Maybe….”

“I thought that might be the case.” Derek smiles fondly before swinging his boy over so he’s laying on the couch before following suit and positioning himself on top of him. “You better be prepared, Dr Reid, because I am going to blow this proposal out the water,” he promises, kissing him deeply as he winds his fingers in his hair.

“I don’t doubt it,” Spencer whispers, before kissing him again, pasta forgotten and cold on the kitchen table. 

★

Derek lets a few months pass — although he bought them both rings the day after their conversation — before he finally proposes. He knows that anything special or flashy is off the table, because as soon as Spencer detected a hint of something out of the ordinary, he’d know it was coming. He’d also considered involving the team or his family, but eventually settled on it being just the two of them. An exclusive memory shared only between the two of them sounds pretty good to him. 

The first day they have off in September is warm and bright, and Spencer just smiles at Derek’s suggestion of a walk around their local park. They often take strolls around the city’s more nature-rich areas on their days of reprieve from their gruesome job, but it feels even more electric than normal when Spencer slides his palm against Derek’s and interlocks their fingers as soon as they lock the door behind them.

“I’m going out with the girls tonight,” Spencer tells him as they make their way out of the apartment building and into the golden sunshine, the autumnal season still early enough for its warmth to be felt against their skin. 

“Oh yeah?”

“Penelope’s bringing us to a show at her favourite drag club, and I’m quite excited, actually.”

“I’d like to see you in drag, baby,” Derek teases, swinging their hands between them. The streets of DC at 10am on a Tuesday aren’t all that busy, and they walk at a slower pace than normal, enjoying the lack of businessmen and executives jostling them in their hurry. Derek’s other hand fondles the velvet box in his pocket but he doesn’t feel nervous. Anticipation swirls in his stomach, but he’s had enough practice taming it with all his years as an FBI agent to not let it show. 

“You have seen me in drag, moron,” Spencer laughs, rolling his eyes. Derek will never tire of that sound. It still sends the same butterflies loose in his chest as it did the first time he heard it.

Years later, Derek won’t remember what he said in response to that, just that he managed to keep up a conversation the whole way to the park as he ran his fingers over the velvet box in his coat pocket, and Spencer never suspected a thing. 

He waits until they’re far enough into the park to have a little seclusion and privacy to stop walking, accidentally interrupting Spencer’s ramble about his most recent documentary as he pulls gently on their interlocked hands to get him to pause walking, too. Derek’s on one knee by the time he turns around, velvet box in his hand, and Spencer’s hands fly straight to cover his mouth in surprise. 

“Spencer, you are the love of my life. I didn’t think I’d ever settle down, I knew not to expect love, but then I met you. And I fell head over heels for you, baby. You’re everything I need for the rest of my days, and I don’t want to spend a single moment of the time I have left without you by my side. Now, although I know what you’re going to say, and this isn’t the most romantic surprise anyone’s ever pulled off: Dr Spencer Reid, will you do me the honour of agreeing to be my husband?”

“Oh my God,” Spencer says, tears streaming down his face, “Derek, yes, of course I will.”

He doesn’t waste another moment on his knees, springing up and wrapping his boy in a tight hug, before pulling back slightly, gripping Spencer’s face in his hands and kissing him gently. He’s never had a way with words, not like his future husband, so he tries to convey everything he doesn’t know how to say with the way he kisses him. 

When they pull away, he thinks he’s succeeded by the look on Spencer’s face. Derek takes his finger and slides the engagement ring on; a simple silver band with a line of deep-set diamonds running through its centre that fits him perfectly. He passes the box to Spencer who catches on and does the same to Derek, pushing the matching band onto his fourth finger. They stand there, in the middle of a park with their heads bent together, staring at their hands for an inordinate amount of time. 

“Soon it will be us slow dancing on a mahogany dance floor,” Derek murmurs, lifting his right hand to the nape of Spencer’s neck, winding his fingers around the small curly hairs there. 

“Can we use that Sinatra song for our first dance?” Spencer asks, and his eyes are so open and earnest, they take Derek’s breath away for a moment.

He huffs a laugh as he leans forward to rest his forehead against his fiancé’s. “Baby, I’d give you anything you asked for, you know that,” he promises, but really The Way You Look Tonight would be his first choice, too. Their first date had been at a late night café, and towards the end of the night the cover band playing in the corner had played the Sinatra classic. With a little persuasion, Derek had got Spencer out of his seat and they’d danced happily to the music, not caring that they were the only ones dancing. 

They’d danced to it countless times in the kitchen since, and it had slowly grown into their song as their relationship had bloomed. Really, using any other song would be a crime. 

“You’re lovely, with your smile so warm and your cheeks so soft,” Derek sings into Spencer’s ear as they continue their walk through the park, making him giggle happily. 

“There is nothing for me but to love you,” Spencer sings back, linking their hands again.

“And the way you look tonight,” they finish together, collapsing into laughter as their tuneless voices join together in an ugly harmony. 

“I do love you Spencer Reid,” Derek sighs, happiness filling him from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. 

“Not as much as I love you, Derek Morgan,” Spencer argues, pressing even closer to his fiancé’s side. 

As they tease one another lovingly, Derek realises that he can’t wait to have this argument for the rest of his life.

**Author's Note:**

> The two songs mentioned in this fic are two of my all-time favourites: [The Nearness of You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsczuCzyUs4&ab_channel=NorahJones-Topic) and [The Way You Look Tonight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFham2Xu6nA&ab_channel=FrankSinatra-Topic).  
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated and make me very happy, but honestly just so glad you're here!
> 
> Here is the [rebloggable post](https://spencers-renaissance.tumblr.com/post/642758332780838912/my-heart-talks-about-nothing-but-you). Anybody can request fics on my tumblr, [@spencers-renaissance](https://spencers-renaissance.tumblr.com), or in the comments! Come say hi :)  
> 


End file.
